Rockn With The Grands: Its Been A Year

We Made It!

We have lived in Washington DC for one year and two days 😂

When we decided we were going to move in with the kids we had no idea where they were going to be relocated to. The possibilities were endless. And that was exciting.

I lived in California in the same house the first 11 years of my life. My dad got a job in Portland that moved us at the end of my 5th grade year. Oregon quickly became home. When I met Sean I told him that if he wanted to marry me he'd have to agree to move to Portland. He was happy to return to the Pacific Northwest.

Our Oregon home

Oregon is where we were married, raised our family, and built memories that we cherish. Neither of us saw ourselves moving from home. This is one of the reasons why we knew this move would be difficult.

As a school teacher I watched many students struggle, whether it be with a new skill or one that has always been difficult. I loved the moments when they got it. When they understood the concept or were able to overcome the difficult skill. The joy on their faces washed away every difficult day.

Their growth came within the daily struggle.

We all have trials. Those trials push us beyond what we "think" we can do. Its hard, sometimes even painful. We learn with in the trial about ourselves, what we can accomplish and that the unthinkable can be a reality.

The year COVID hit I was pushed beyond anything I knew and understood about teaching. I would have never predicted that schools would be closed for two weeks let alone the remainder of the school year and into the next one.

My Classroom

At the beginning of that next school year I sat in a training in my living room completely overwhelmed. By the time the training ended I had my camera off and was sobbing. I tried the canned programs we were told to teach from, the new grade book we were to use and an electronic assignment creator. None of them were for me. A few weeks in I found my technical footing and figured out how to teach in this new format, but incorporating my style and lessons.

A year ago I was thrilled to be moving to Washington DC. A place I am familiar with and love. I couldn't wait to be here and experience more than a 7-day student led trip allowed. I knew it would be hard to leave home, but I wasn't expecting heart ache, fear and immense JOY.

One afternoon Holly was driving me across across the bridge to Ford Island in Hawaii. She showed her military badge at the gate and in that moment I realized that Holly and Dreyton were going to take me to places and have experiences I never dreamt of. That scared me. The life I knew in Oregon was all about to change.

The trip across the country gave us opportunities to see dear friends, spend time with our kids and family and see parts of the country we had never seen before.

What is most notable is that one year ago Sunday we stepped into our new home with a new version of our family.

Dreyton ran through the house so excited to show us every room. This was his house. He couldn't wait to make this a home with all of us.

Every aspect of my life was now different, so I relied on his joy and excitement many times as my heart longed to be in my home in Oregon.

While spending the last year navigating the unfamiliar and unknown I have learned a few things.

I'm not my mom, but I can set up a kitchen, a home and invite the spirit to be with us every day like she did for me every time I moved.

It is ok to not know where I am or how I am going to get somewhere, but I can learn. It doesn't have to be terrifying as long as I rely on the tools I have and the spirit to guide me. Today I can confidently get myself to places I want to go. I can even drive into the city. That is a HUGE accomplishment.

My dear friends are still my friends no matter how many miles separate us. Together we figured out how to stay in touch. I love all of them dearly and the experiences we continue to share together.

Imagine walking through Target or Costco and bumping into friends, past students and families, neighbors, or people from your childhood. It was a rare occasion that I walked through a store a didn't bump into someone I knew. For a few months I walked into stores with my head down, I knew I wouldn't bump into people I know. It felt lonely.

I've learned its ok to walk through a door alone and not know anyone in the room. I just whisper to myself, "Be Brave", "You Can Do This", "You Got This"! This has pushed me well beyond my comfort zone. I'm starting to meet people and have even walked through Target and recognized a new friend.

Sisters always got you

At the end of each day Sean and I share what the best part of our day is. For many years that moment happened at school. Transitioning into early retirement has not been easy. It has been 19 years since I had been home with our children and 21 since I had been home full time. This was going to take time and I needed to be patient with myself.

My BEST PART of the day has changed. There are more moments with Sean. Like eating lunch together more than just the summer months. Date nights that don't involve grocery shopping or more opportunities to travel with him.

There are also two adorable little boys that fill my days with so many BEST PARTS. Before I could thoroughly enjoy those moments I had to find a balance between being Grammy and the Grammy that takes care of you each day with no's and rules.

Finding balance between these two roles has not been smooth. I've made many mistakes. Today I realize that I must honor both of those roles and love where I'm at in that moment.

The hardest part of this move and transition is letting go of what was and embracing what is. I listened to a talk once where a woman experienced the tragic loss of her daughter. After life settled into a new routine she found herself yearning to get back the life she had. That life no longer existed because her daughter wasn't in it. She said that part of her life was yellow, bright, cheerful, sunny.

Now her life was blue. It was different. There had been a lot of change that impacted every part of her life. At times it was filled with sorrow, but at other times there was joy. She still longed for elements of her yellow life. What she learned is that she could take elements of her yellow life and combine them with her new blue life to make green.

Letting go of my yellow life in Oregon has been a challenge. Embracing my new blue life in Washington DC has been equally challenging. I have felt like both lifestyles were playing tug-of-war with my heartstrings. All that means is that I love both. I don't have to let go of Oregon and solely embrace DC, I too can create a life of green.

My green life is filled with precious moments. I GET to spend each day with my adorable grandsons. I get to witness major milestones and be here for daily hugs, kisses, giggles and snuggles. Today I can happily say I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than here with my sweetheart, our daughter and husband and our two cutie grandsons.